Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.

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Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.

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Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

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The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.

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Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.

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Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced.

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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

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Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.

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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.

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