The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.

Doug Larson
  |   favorited by 0 users
Submitted by: TheQuoted

A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.

Doug Larson
  |   favorited by 0 users
Submitted by: TheQuoted

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.

Doug Larson
  |   favorited by 0 users
Submitted by: TheQuoted

Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.

Doug Larson
  |   favorited by 0 users
Submitted by: TheQuoted

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

Doug Larson
  |   favorited by 0 users
Submitted by: TheQuoted

For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.

Doug Larson
  |   favorited by 0 users
Submitted by: TheQuoted

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.

Doug Larson
  |   favorited by 0 users
Submitted by: TheQuoted

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.

Doug Larson
  |   favorited by 0 users
Submitted by: TheQuoted

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.

Doug Larson
  |   favorited by 0 users
Submitted by: TheQuoted

Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own.

Doug Larson
  |   favorited by 0 users
Submitted by: TheQuoted