Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.

Erma Bombeck
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It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.

Erma Bombeck
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

Erma Bombeck
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Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.

Erma Bombeck
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Never have more children than you have car windows.

Erma Bombeck
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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

Erma Bombeck
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Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.

Erma Bombeck
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Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.

Erma Bombeck
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Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments.

Erma Bombeck
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I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

Erma Bombeck
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