Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

Robert Benchley
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I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

Robert Benchley
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There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them.

Robert Benchley
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A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.

Robert Benchley
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Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.

Robert Benchley
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In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

Robert Benchley
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