Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

Robert Orben
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Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.

Robert Orben
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Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

Robert Orben
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Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?

Robert Orben
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Quit worrying about your health. It will go away.

Robert Orben
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A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

Robert Orben
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I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.

Robert Orben
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Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.

Robert Orben
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