An educated person is one who has learned that information almost always turns out to be at best incomplete and very often false, misleading, fictitious, mendacious - just dead wrong.

Russell Baker
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Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it.

Russell Baker
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Reporters thrive on the world's misfortune. For this reason they often take an indecent pleasure in events that dismay the rest of humanity.

Russell Baker
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Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do it.

Russell Baker
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Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.

Russell Baker
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Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things.

Russell Baker
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