The difference between men and women is that, if given the choice between saving the life of an infant or catching a fly ball, a woman will automatically choose to save the infant, without even considering if there's a man on base.

Dave Barry
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Submitted by: TheQuoted

What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What Men Want: Tickets for the world series.

Dave Barry
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Submitted by: TheQuoted

Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies, the result of being that they get on each other's nerves and regularly erupt into vicious emotional shouting.

Dave Barry
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Submitted by: TheQuoted

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.

Dave Barry
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Submitted by: TheQuoted

The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example.

Dave Barry
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Submitted by: TheQuoted

The old system of having a baby was much better than the new system, the old system being characterized by the fact that the man didn't have to watch.

Dave Barry
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Submitted by: TheQuoted