I've decided life is too fragile to finish a book I dislike just because it cost $16.95 and everyone else loved it. Or eat a fried egg with a broken yolk (which I hate) when the dog would leap over the St. Louis Arch for it.

Erma Bombeck
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One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.

Erma Bombeck
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The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, "Could I get you your check?" and we answered, "How about the menu first?"

Erma Bombeck
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What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?

Erma Bombeck
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For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy.

Erma Bombeck
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There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, "Yes, I've got dreams, of course I've got dreams." Then they put the box away and bring it out once in awhile to look in it, and yep, they're still there.

Erma Bombeck
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People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.

Erma Bombeck
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A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

Erma Bombeck
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At some point in your life if you're lucky you throw practicality to the wind andstart living.

Erma Bombeck
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I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.

Erma Bombeck
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