I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.

Mitch Hedberg
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I wish I had the nerve not to tip.

Paul Lynde
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I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.

Bertrand Russell
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I would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier.

Howard Nemerov
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I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.

Bette Davis
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I'd never been in play long enough for the flowers to die in the dressing room.

Mercedes McCambridge
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I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way.

Carl Sandburg
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I'm kidding about having only a few dollars. I might have a few dollars more.

James Brown
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I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.

Will Rogers
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I'm undaunted in my quest to amuse myself by constantly changing my hair.

Hillary Clinton
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