I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

George Burns
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I think serial monogamy says it all.

Tracey Ullman
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I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut.

Ellen DeGeneres
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I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.

Mae West
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I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

David Lee Roth
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I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Les Dawson
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I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry.

Norman Wisdom
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I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.

Emo Philips
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I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

Emo Philips
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I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.

Rod Schmidt
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