Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

Groucho Marx
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All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.

Fred Allen
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Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.

E. B. White
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Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end.

Sid Caesar
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Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

Peter Ustinov
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Comedy, we may say, is society protecting itself - with a smile.

J. B. Priestley
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Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.

William James
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Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.

Mark Twain
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Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

Steven Wright
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Gags die, humor doesn't.

Jack Benny
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